So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We left the knife in your bed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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