I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
