I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
