So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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