what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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