ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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