you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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