I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
