drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
