omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
