Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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