I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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