you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
