you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
