you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
