I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize