Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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