last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
