Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
