The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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