arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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