Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
