whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He passed out mid-signature
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
