He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
