Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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