We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
