You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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