East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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