So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
