Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
