I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
honey bunches of taint.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
