he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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