just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
