Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
