hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
