break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize