Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
