Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He did a backflip because drugs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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