Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
