Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
