I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize