so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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