I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
dude. I can hear the air.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
