Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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