is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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