my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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