What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
