her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
