p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
