I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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