We're like a lot better than the average bears
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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