Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
