i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
