community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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