Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
