I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize