first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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