The maid of honor just puked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
