Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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