great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
