She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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