Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
