i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
