That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
