Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you would pick up someone in the library
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
